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How to NOT Be Conflict Avoidant

Often this type of animosity develops when there’s a “conflict entrepreneur” on your team — someone who inflames conflict for their own ends. I talk a lot about the importance of doing the work before a conversation to better ensure success. When your fear brain is lit up, the rational, calm thinking part of your brain can’t come on line. It’s possible to overcome conflict avoidance and learn to handle confrontation in a productive, healthy way. Consider practicing conflict-management skills in low-stress situations. Therapy and anxiety-management techniques might also help you cope during conflict.

Working with People Who Avoid Conflict

By the time the issue is brought to a manager’s attention, the squabbling employees may already be angry and defensive. That’s why it’s important to slow things down and listen. Conflict resolution doesn’t necessarily have to end in agreement. Sometimes, it’s best to agree to disagree, respectfully.

Personality conflict

Doing this can help you avoid uncomfortable topics, but can seem very dismissive to your partner. If you find yourself being confronted by a colleague who uses inappropriate language or who makes you feel threatened, don’t reply in kind. Take action by reporting the behavior to someone outside the situation—make the impact of the behavior, in terms of how it made you feel, very clear.

  • So, if you started thinking differently about voicing your opinion and seeing it as a positive thing with a positive outcome, you’d be much more likely to do it and stop avoiding.
  • When you’re avoiding conflict, you’re essentially lying about your thoughts and feelings about something.
  • Conflict resolution doesn’t necessarily have to end in agreement.
  • While avoidance sometimes seems like the best way to deal with conflict, in the long run it ends up harming our intimacy.
  • During a conflict, you can remind yourself to breathe deeply.
  • Any business will have employees who don’t get along from time to time.

By handling and documenting incidents properly, you can also protect your business should a disgruntled employee try to take you to court. It’s essential that you write down factual information from each employee-related incident. Be sure to include the counseling or written memorandum concerning the employees’ conduct in their HR file. To get beyond this emotional wall to the truth of things, encourage each employee to articulate the issue in a calm way. Treating emotional symptoms alone only puts a temporary Band-Aid over the issue. Get to the crux of the matter, so you can find a permanent solution that won’t be as susceptible to future flare-ups.

NeXt Step

Ignoring the problem will make future conflicts even worse. Over time, the perception that a person’s feelings are ignored or devalued leads to explosive conflict. how to deal with someone who avoids conflict A therapist can help you and your partner learn healthy conflict resolution skills and help you develop a better understanding of yourself and your partner.

  • Here are some tips to help you tactfully turn conflict into consensus between feuding employees.
  • Once all employees have had this opportunity, ask each of them to offer ideas on how the situation could be resolved and how all parties could move forward.
  • If you have had a disagreement about an issue or treated someone disrespectfully, there’s nothing wrong in offering a sincere apology, preferably in writing.
  • Instead of telling your partner when something is bothering you, it builds up into a pile and you start to have a negative narrative about your partner.

Never use language that incites anger, such as swear words, racially insensitive lingo or terse phrases that include “whatever.” When you communicate openly and honestly with your partner, you are able to share your thoughts and feelings with them. Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations.

Overcoming Conflict Avoidance in the Workplace

They broker in rumors and conspiracy theories, dividing the world cleanly into good versus evil. Remember, you’ve got to connect to correct so showing empathy and compassion if your partner is a conflict avoider is the best way to create a space where they’ll start sharing what’s real. In this same vein, you want to emphasize that you’re a team; you’re not going anywhere and you’ll get through this together. Conflict avoidance can damage your relationships and harm your mental health. This people-pleasing behavior can also make it difficult to set and maintain boundaries.

Is avoiding conflict good in workplace?

Avoiding Conflict in the Workplace

While this might be successful in the short term, there is evidence that avoiding conflict resolution in the workplace can actually lead to low productivity, high staff turnover, poor organisational culture and an inability for your team to work together on key projects.

You do this using a technique I’ve talked about previously called cognitive reframing. A lot of the research shows that conflict avoiders often come from homes where conflict was a bad thing. Maybe voicing your opinion in your home growing up meant getting slapped, yelled at, belittled or something worse. Maybe you grew up in a home where saying something was met with criticism or what you shared was dismissed or minimized. It’s possible to overcome this people-pleasing behavior. After hearing the offer, her attitude improved dramatically.

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